A brief history of fatherhood

I love my daughter more than anything in the world and this is a small very small album of her photographs… I have a full part-time occupation, which is photographing my daughter. I consider that as quite normal but some people might call me a lil obsessed.

I guess that happens to every father…

This is a very small effort considering the amount of effort it will take me to organize and put in the form of website-album of the entire set of good photographs of her… That must be around 500 pics and I have at least half that no of her videos too.

When you grow up darling you will feel after watching my collection as if you grew up alongside yourself… probably you will get bore by looking at so many videos and photos of yourself… but it’s a treasure for me… I often flick through your photos, reliving the beautiful moments.

DEDICATE TO YOU...DHYUTI!!!

I cannot describe how it feels to be a father the first time… I did not jump or punched the air as if I had won a Olympic gold medal on becoming father… but being a father definitely is a joy… one definitely feels proud … I instantly massaged everyone when nurse broke the news of Dhyuti's arrival… I wanted to share the news with everyone… one feels fulfillment of basic purpose… but till the time one is single or no kids after marriage, it doesn’t really matter… you only value being a father after becoming one… another interesting/intriguing thing my folks say I could stay awake only looking at the beautiful face of my daughter the whole night without even blinking much… that’s true till date… if somebody asks me to spend a night just looking at my kid’s face… I will say that’s the most interesting thing in the entire world… more interesting than watching Sachin bat.

I was the first one to hold my daughter in hands (only after the doctor/nurse), she wasn’t crying, rather her face was totally blissful and she was almost white in color sans pigment.

Like my wife my daughter heralded new generation in my in-laws’ family (extended family), so our child was being eagerly and anxiously waited for. My daughter instantly became apple of every eye… she’s really pretty and sweet looking. Her physical appearance coupled with her body language and expressions make her really adorable.

This photo is from Diwali (Her first). Dhyuti was born just a day before Dussehra. I wanted her naani (great grandmother) to carry her in lap… at first I thought, would that be possible for the frail condition of naani?… but not only did naani hold Dhuti perfectly in her lap… she touched, examined and studied Dhyuti well. After all that naani mused something intelligent putting to use some mature adjectives.

I remember Dhyuti was quivering at cracker bursts while sleeping that night but later became normal as I was holding her close to myself.

Our household is a classic Indian home… after the birth of Dhyuti my wife went to her parents’ for rest. My wife had undergone cesarean section and needed sometime off chores and required attention to her condition, which was not possible at my mom’s place.

This photo is from Dhyuti’s first maternal grandparents’ home visit… I would like to acknowledge that she was looked after really well. Dhyuti never fell sick there.

This photo is from Makar Sankranti. Everyone in my wife’s family was over excited… thanks to Dhyuti… all the kids came to our house and celebrated it… The same day was my mom’s 60th birthday. We celebrated in the evening by cutting cake and dining out. You can see eyeliner in Dhyuti’s eyes… it’s a norm.

We had stopped using eyeliner on my insistence. Dhyuti had started making wonderful faces and her eyes really looked pretty. I was particularly mesmerized by sleeping postures of Dhyuti in those days. It was not possible to keep her covered while sleeping as everyone suggested had us. She would manage to cycle off all the covers no matter what.

We would take our daughter everywhere we went… another big change happened… when I got married people either stared at me or my wife depending on which side of family they belonged to but suddenly we were attention deficient and the world seem to move around Dhyuti…

This photo is from Sindhi Cultural Mela at Suraj Maidan in Jaipur… I was interested in attending the fest as I always like to know, study and preserve Sindhi culture. Dhyuti just being her pretty self as usual.

My cuteee pie was quite a docile girl in those days compared to brat she is today. The face testimonial to her innocence. I am not saying she was less curious by any means than she is today.

This photo I had clicked, just casually like most other photos, while I sat her on my old study table now appropriated as kitchen table. I faintly remember the same evening we had gone shopping dresses for her. She had been growing.

That photo reminds me fatherly pain I had to endure… The same day I was moving back to Jaipur after weekend in Tonk leaving my most valuable thing behind… I kept looking back at her while driving the car till the time she was invisible. Please don’t try this at home  ;-)).

We had taken her to her grandpa’s shop. It was her maiden visit to the shop as best as I can recall.

One more interesting thing about my daughter… wherever she went she would figure out deities in that place. Her grandpa’s shop was no exception… most of the time I was holding her close to the alcove where deities were kept and she was looking and gesticulating at them. God knows the mystery. Till date she digs heels to go to temple or sit in puja and loves to do “jay-jay”.

After that she keeps on becoming more beautiful by the day and so her photos keep on increasing at increasing rate… It was an effort to select these photos out of so many. Each one of these photos belongs to a different month starting from Oct 08.

She emulates whatever that we do… like washing clothes, cleaning house and even brushing teeth.

One morning I took her out of bedroom as usual and after some time I found her washing.

She loves mustee perpetually... and she would like to involve everyone in her cute acts...

One more interesting fact is that since the very beginning she is quite aware of the makeup, cosmetics and props women wear. Like makeup and bindi… off late necklaces etc. Whenever my mom or wife carry her she will nip off their bindi’s and try to put on her own forehead… she will try and wear a chunni around her head… grab gold chain around our necks and insist on wearing one…

This photo my mother had asked me to click… My mom has tied chunni in a fashion of a saree around Dhyuti… and just look at the way Dhyuti is behaving like an impish newly wed girl.

Look at her sleeping in the car… obviously she was very tired as she had done all the shopping for her first hair cut ceremony… I really miss her original hair… no body will realize just by seeing photo but she actually had brown hair… and they looked really beautiful… I just wish that she grows the same color again… I had in fact started calling her blonde.

After the hair cut…

It was Priya’s birthday… Dhyuti is enjoying her piece of cake… like a cat she does whatever and whenever she likes…

Thanks God… you are great… your creations are great… It is our destiny to love and provide for our offspring…… I love you my sweetooo sweetshop!!!

Changing Culture- Jaipur < :-|(

Changing Culture- Jaipur


I remember my childhood days. Those are happy memories. Whenever anything reminiscent of childhood it automatically takes my mind to a time which was full of excitement, laughter and carefree playing.

I am happy about the opportunities of getting to play with lot of neighborhood children of my age, it was fun. TV and phones were a luxury at that time. We bought our first TV when I was 8-9 years old. It was a B and W and only one channel was broadcast.

Similarly I also remember older people back then. They were happy to have us (kids) around. By no means we were quite children but still we were welcome everywhere.

Now I count as a grownup. I have become a parent. I live in the same neighborhood. My playmates have become parents too. Young people have taken our place and we have taken that of our parents’ and in other words a generation has passed.

But I carry one concern on my mind now days that parents don’t want to give chance to their children to be in a relaxed atmosphere what they had got. Parents of my generation or somewhat older to us are trying to control every aspect of their ward’s life. They want to keep tab on everything like clothes, TV time, Outdoor times, what friends, what to eat etc. Mostly parents want their kids to outshine everyone else in studies.

Some of these things are needed and parents should perhaps genuinely take care for their children. The difference is parents of my generation were not so pestering and admitted of higher freedom.

But overall I find playing grounds/gardens have become less crowded hardly I see children come and play badminton, Frisbee etc. I don’t see much participation or enthusiasm in children in celebrating festivals like holi, dasuhara and janmashtami etc.

Kids I have come across, I think have grown impolite and aggressive compared to our time. In all superficial aspects of life young people would like to be Americans. Our society should rather be moving towards becoming more accommodative and courteous but we are sending it in the reverse direction.

It’s not socially dishonorable in our children today to lie or cheat others, every place is a parking place, corruption is tolerable rather a way of life, helping others is for stupid and courtesy is a kind of weakness.

Our biggest social media – films are only abetting every wrong listed here rather then helping establishing moral values.

Sometimes I get very nervous at the prospect of our society becoming so intolerant and corrupt that surviving in it as an ordinary kid or parent can become impossible.

Values we learnt in school, like helping, courtesy etc be a big burden in such a senario. That’s what we are headed towards.

I am therefore seriously confused what to tell my daughter, how to rear her that she will be future ready.

I feel, we i.e. new parents will have to build an atmosphere like the old days which we had got as children, let the children sublimate their energy and aggression into team play in grounds, learning to cooperate and collaborate rather then walk alone. Cover each others’ weaknesses to win. Then life will be fun again!!!

About Books of Chetan Bhagat, 2states

I have read Chetan Bhagat, including his latest book "2 states". What amazes me that while there may be hundreds of works done by assorted writers’ but no one has been able to touch readers at the scale as Chetan Bhagat and in such a short time.

Although intellectual people or literary smart people might be perturbed by his popularity, but I think simplicity of the language is one of the biggest strengths that has contributed to the wider readership.

Apart from this I guess the works of Chetan Bhagat are about young people and their lives, so stories get recognized by a lot of people in their personal life also. Like the recent most book that portrays a college student's life and also of somebody who is getting married and mingling between girl's and boy's families’ too, would be similar to a lot of ordinary Indians. So quite naturally people are interested in Chetan Bhagat's books.

One more point is the stories themselves are very interesting, at least to the young Indian readers. Partly due to the reason I described above and partly because the plot is presented in a very interesting filmy kind of style by Chetan Bhagat and Indians love filmy dramas a lot.

The latest book of Chetan Bhagat-2states, is full of drama, it draws a person next door's life and is very readable without any high-sounding vocab.
I liked the book as it was reminiscent of my college days. To clarify not the romance part but lot of other interesting stuff like classes and class humor, heavy work schedules and friends. I know how a groom's mother feels socially above in status than the bride’s family and her possessiveness and insecurity complicates the things, its part of life and not a shade different from as worded in 2states.
But at one point I thought the book went off the track when Ananya refused to trust and budge after Goa visit. That time I thought it was not in accord with Ananya's personality. But I think if that drama was not in between we would perhaps not liked the book as much as we do now. One more thing the ending was good, throughout the book everything was falling in its place so there was not much stress while reading.

Overall I would say, it’s a good book to read for college going and young people. The older generation would have a difference of opinion.